I Am Thankful...

It's American Thanksgiving today.  I am Canadian and we had our Thanksgiving last month.  But regardless of the date these days remind us to be thankful and to reflect on blessings in our life. 

On Canadian Thanksgiving I was busy preparing the big family feast and creating the festive atmosphere in my home.  Today instead I find I am able to sit back and enjoy the energy of the season from a more detatched vantage point.  American Thanksgiving feels like the beginning of the full blown pre-Christmas season.  Knowing my American friends are having family gatherings and enjoying a long weekend is a vicariously warm feeling. 

I am thankful for my friends, new and old.  For lessons I have learned.  For the blessing of each new day (sorry to sound corny, but I am!). For my family and my home. For my health, and that of those I love.

Oh... I could put it this way...

 "For this day and it's light.

For rest and shelter through the night.

For health and food,

love, family and friends.

For every gift your goodness sends,

I thank you Lord.

Amen."

Ralph Waldo Emerson              

I Need Constant Reminders...

 I put quotes here in my blog that resonate with me personally.  I find I often need reminders and boosts and kicks in the butt.  I am on a journey... and this blog documents my ongoing struggle with learning new  thought processes and methods of living my daily life.  It ain't all that easy to teach old dogs new tricks.  I like what I read online the other day in The Positivity Blog; "It's not about life being perfect or positive or awesome all the time. That is just perfectionism rearing its ugly head. It is about replacing unhelpful habits with better ones. It is about raising the percentages of times where you can handle things in a better way both in your everyday life and when big things happen. But there are still natural valleys and peaks in life. And a bad day will sometimes just be a bad day. And that is OK. That’s life."

 I found I was avoiding writing here when I was feeling down or negative. But I have to remind myself, the focus of this blog is not only optimism and sharing of knowledge... it is my journey.  My journal.  My cognitive internal ramblings.  My struggle, along with my true desire to be a better and happier me.

•  "Of all the gifts you can give a friend, the truthful sharing of who you are, and where you are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is the most beautiful and valuable gift of all. It’s this honest sharing that serves as the thread that sews a friendship into the warm quilt it can be, to wrap around you when life feels cold and unforgiving." ~ by Sandra Kring

• "The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." ~ Bob Moawad 

• "You can TURN OFF the sun but I'm still gonna SHINE." ~ PO

• "I CHOOSE...to live by choice, not by chance; to make changes, not excuses; to be motivated, not manipulated; to be useful, not used; to excel, not compete. I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinion of others." ~ PO

• "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." ~ Maria Robinson

• "It's not who you are that holds you back. It is who you think you are not." ~ PO

• "Be with people who know your worth. You don't need too many people to be happy just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are." ~ PO

• "Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things." ~ Frank A. Clark

• "Don't sweat someone else getting a gold... go for your own!" ~ TS

• "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." ~ Mark Twain

• "What vibe are you giving off?" ~TS

• "Your job is you and only you. When you are working in harmony with the law, no-one can come between you and the Universe. However if you think another person can get in the way of what you want, then you have done a flip to the negative. Focus on creating what you want." ~ TS

• "You are the center of divine operation in your life, and your partner is the Universe. No one can get in the way of your creation." ~ TS

• "Stop feeding whatever's bugging you and it will fly away." ~PO

• "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step." ~ Dr Martin Luther King Jr

• "On days when you feel like a motherless child, go outside. Feel the wind stroke your hair like a good mother should, and let the sun kiss your cheeks and warm you. Then sit on the ground as if it were her lap, and tell your troubles to the good Mother Earth who feeds you." ~ Sandra Kring

• "Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us." ~ Earl Nightingale

• "I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." ~ by Diane Ackerman

• "Good thoughts and actions always produce good results, sometimes in unusual ways. Just focus on doing what you can, and leave the results up to God." ~PO

• "Your pain and sorrow can in retrospect be a gift. Your sorrow expands the spectrum of human experience, understanding and emotions for you. You become more grateful because of your sorrow. The sorrow carves deeper. And the deeper it carves, the more joy you will also be able to contain. The sad times make the happy times even sweeter." ~ The Positivity  

• "When I have a pessimistic mood or low energy or no motivation or all of them then that can help me to think in new ways about things. My lowest days often turn out to be some of my most creative days.  The bad day may not feel good, but I know that it often will bring me positive things." ~ The Positivity Blog

Ages and Stages...

Even though I have said that at this stage in my life I am reaching out to others and trying to make social connections, it is also a time for internal reflection.  Being me, I seem to be focussing more on the internal reflection part, than the reaching out part.  It's all a process right?  Baby steps, as I have said before.  Actually, now that I really think about it I have been a bit more socially engaged... or at least more socially open than I have been in the past.  Huh.  Good to realize.

That is why it's a good idea to write down a list of one's goals.  Then, at a later point... or even when you are feeling like you are making no progress, you can go back and re-read your list and see that in fact you most likely have made progress.  Even if just baby step.  It reminds me of the idea that I heard years ago about keeping a "prayer journal".  I was part of a "home group" set up by my church for small groupings of people to get together weekly to experience a more personal and interactive experience.  At the close of each meeting we would share our prayer requests, with the idea that we would pray for each other.  I kept a prayer journal for the group, and after a few months went back and found that indeed, most of our prayers were answered in one way or another, at least to some degree.

Anyway to get back on track to what I initially meant to write about... (see how I ramble?  But this is what I meant this writing experience to be about for me... my wandering thoughts. See how I also argue with myself a lot?... ugh)

Anyway, even though I have found myself turning inward to reflection, I realize that I am still "teaching" my girls.  Even though they are teens and young adults, and don't need me in the same way they used to, they still watch and learn from their mother.  But it is different than how they used to view me and my ways... instead of just seeing their mum and seeing me as an authority figure who is all knowing and perfect, they now think for themselves and may or may not agree with my opinions and ways.  Along with their own thought processes, they have friends, teachers, professors, and even Youtube stars helping them analyse the world around them.  I've noticed that they see Youtube stars as almost friends.  That is kinda scary. They can (and do) interact with these stars through adding comments, "friending" them on Facebook and "chatting" when they do livestream stuff. They watch these people going through their daily lives and speaking directly to the camera (read: the viewer) often about personal and/or big matters.  Values, opinions, how to act, what family life is supposed to be like, how to manage your finances, etc.  I trust my girls, and I know they watch youtubers with good values for the most part. They have gravitated towards the youtubers with similar values to ours... humour, family, fun, creativity, appreciation of the small things, health...  But still...

I mean I know that friends and tv etc have always been a huge influences on kids' lives... but now... I guess it's my kids' age and their maturity level that make them open their eyes to my faults.  I dunno what I'm trying to say here...  writing it out, I see it's a good thing.  It's awesome.  I guess my point is that I can't take their respect for granted anymore.  It's got nothing to do with Youtube.  They are emerging young women on the awesome progression towards being independent adults. 

I am grateful for my three beautiful, intelligent, awesome daughters.  I am grateful for their emerging independence.  I am grateful that I can be a part of it.  I am grateful that they respect me and my opinions and truly like me (and I, them).  Actually, I am grateful that they do have these other influences in their lives.  I know I haven't done everything right and that my opinions aren't always the healthiest.  They are taking in all the information around them and digesting it... helping them to formulate their own opinions and ways. 

So, I have come to realize that all this stuff about working on myself and my attitudes etc is also about helping form my daughters' attitudes, dreams and sense of power.  I may have been feeling like it's a time to step aside and let them go, but... they are still here, watching and asking my opinions.  I may have faults, and they may see them more clearly now... but they can also see that I am trying to change... and we can now discuss these new opinions, values and ways logically and critically together.  How awesome is that?!

I Am...

A friend tells me that, when put together, those are the two most powerful words in the english language.  "I am".  When following the principles of "The Secret" it makes total sense. By stating what indeed "I am", I am setting my limits and predetermining my destiny. On a subconscious level I am stating a perceived account, or fact as it were, about myself. 

It's funny, I have always been a big skeptic, but... just say to yourself "I am tired".  Now how do you feel?  Tired, I bet.  Now say "I am happy".  Don't you feel better now?  Weird how it works, but who are we to try to understand the intricacies of the human psyche? 

We can use "I am" statements to kick ourselves in the butt.  Even if you don't feel a certain way, doing this can steer you in a chosen direction.  We can choose our mood, our thoughts and supposedly, our destiny.

• I am happy
• I am a good person
• I am likeable
• I am a great mom
• I am going to contribute financially to my household this year
• I am a good photographer
• I am intelligent

When I am feeling a little insecure or not quite as "up" as I'd like to be I have a harder time saying positive things about myself. When that happens I try really hard not to say negative  "I am" statements. To not put myself down.  Not limit myself. I try to at least say some positive ones... even the most basic ones... like "I am grateful for my kids".

That is one reason keeping a gratitude journal is so helpful in shaping my view.  I just take a few moments at the end of each day to jot down three things that I was grateful for that day.  Even on "bad days" I can always come up with something... I may just have to think a little harder.  "I am grateful that it didn't rain today".  "I am grateful for my cozy sweater".  "I am grateful my kids are healthy".  See how easy it is? 

It isn't necessary to do big "I am" statements.  You don't have to jump directly to "I am going to be a millionaire by the time I am 50" or "I am gorgeous".  You can take baby steps.  Start small.  "I am going to contribute financially"  and "I have pretty eyes".  The Universe knows me.  I can go at my own pace.  With my own style. 

It's funny, since I have started trying to incorporate this stuff into my thinking I found I was having times of... well... a blank mind.  I'd just find myself not thinking about anything.  It's not happening so much anymore but I noticed it a few weeks ago.  I realized after a few days that it was occurring because I was so used to thinking negative things.  Dwelling on negativity. Stewing in it.   Now that I had told myself not to do that anymore, there were empty spaces where those thoughts used to reside.  I laughed when I realized what was happening.